I recently asked a group of moms what’s one piece of advice they’d tell themselves if they could go back in time before their baby was born.
The resounding response was, “I’d ask for help a lot sooner.”
We were never meant to do this motherhood thing alone. And if you look at cultures around the world, cultures that don’t expect mothers to do it alone have way fewer incidences of postpartum depression, and baby blues are almost non-existent. This isn’t a coincidence.
Women in Western culture have been fed the notion that once they go through something as life-changing and transformational as becoming a mother, they have to keep this tiny, dependent person alive all by themselves – also while taking care of everything they did before! I want you to know this isn’t true: it’s a strength, not a weakness, to ask for help.
I went back to work when my son was six weeks old. It’s hard to fathom even writing that! But that’s a reality for many self-employed women or women who live in countries without maternity leave.
The only reason I was able to do this was because I had help. A lot of it. My mom came at least once a week to help maintain our household. My husband came home from work early whenever he could, and he took over grocery shopping, cooking, making sure bills were paid on time. I still remember a terse call from Visa asking me why I had missed a payment. I wanted to burst into tears: “Because I just had a baby!” I hired someone to clean the house. And I had doula.
When people think of doulas, they usually think of labour and birth doula, and if you are pregnant, I strongly encourage you to hire one. And whether you are pregnant or have already had your baby, I also strongly encourage you to hire a postpartum doula like myself. I understand your struggles, your joys, because I’ve been there. Let me surround you with calm and confidence so you can find peace and joy in motherhood. My job is to take care of you, mama, so you can take care of your baby: and the best way you can take care of your baby is by taking care of yourself.
While we can never plan for exactly what will happen in childbirth or motherhood, we can prepare so the transition is smoother. I walk couples through what life with a newborn looks like and how they can make adjustments ahead of time so they are on the same page once baby arrives. After baby, I can help fill any gaps in your household, but most importantly, I am a listening ear and soft shoulder for you, mama, because we were never meant to do this alone.
Book a session with me to plan for life after baby here, and let’s talk about how I can support you and your family. Motherhood can be hard, but you’re not alone. I’m here for you.