I would so dearly love to assign a task to every member of the Lead team. But the following will have to suffice – FOR NOW. So here are my pink instructions for the pink pilates team.
Chrissy, as an elite member of Her Majesty’s Secret Service (okay, Jana’s not so secret Awesome Service), your skills are needed to thwart the plan dubbed “Folding Laundry”. We don’t know the details of this nefarious scheme, but we understand your special skills in Single Leg Squats may be exactly what is required to save the world. Do your best agent Chrissy, your efforts will make or break quads everywhere!
Carly, we know you have the elite special agent skills to dash through all kinds of fusion and escape various strapping traps. But, this mission will take you to places we haven’t sent you before. You will be needing your arms for this mission that is dubbed “Rocking the Baby”. Essentrically, this task should take you no more than the duration of two songs, but your success on this job is vital to shoulders, triceps, and arms everywhere. You must complete the two Essentrics arm songs and save us all, Agent Carly!
Jenn, the master of disguise of Her Majesty’s Secret Service (or Jana’s Awesome Fitness Hitters, whichever works for you), there is a plot afoot that will require all of your skills. This mission “Grin and Bear it” will require you to unleash that smile and perky attitude as you get yourself through a challenging activity that you must complete while maintaining the guise of enjoyment. You must get through Jumpboarding (not waterboarding but it might be just as bad) to save abs everywhere, all with a smile. We know you can do it Agent Jenn!
Lindsay, or “Bones” (oh wait I am mixing genres now, Star Trek and Bond hmmmmm) as the doctor on board the Starship Posture, and a double extra secret agent of Her Majesty (read Jana) you are specially qualified to take on a special mission. There is a nefarious scheme we have uncovered nicknamed “Unaligned Joint”, you must use all your skills in speedskating (although I guess for a ice track you would have to go to the holodeck – or maybe just to the core align) to rescue quads everywhere! Help us all Agent Lindsay!
Tanis, our spy satellites have identified a strange device we have dubbed the “Gyro”. All we know about this device is that we believe it may either twist you into a pretzel or untwist you from one. We are unclear on the details. We know you are skilled at dealing with similar devices. But, the dangerous part of this mission is not investigating the device, it is in getting to it. You will need all of your skills that you have honed as an agent of Her Majesty (again read Jana, and Jana please don’t let this go to your head because your turn is coming). Inner and outer thighs everywhere will thank you for your efforts in getting close to the device by doing a Magic Circle Walk. Agent Tanis, this mission relies on you, go to it!
Jana, as the M of your elite team of fitness hitters you could just watch and direct, but you are in the thick of things right beside your team. It is a good thing you are NOT a jack of all trades, master of none, because your high level skills in many areas will certainly come in handy as you are needed for a high priority mission we have code named “Master of All”. Again the details are a bit sketchy but we do know this, your skills in The Full Reformer Repertoire will all certainly be needed. Help us save the world one thigh at a time!